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02 October, 2010

The curse of the Deserted Railway Station






This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 15; the fifteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.







Jane and Jeremy, a middle class American couple came to India to realize their dream wedding. It was not going to be a big fat Indian wedding but it was their dream nevertheless. They had about a week’s time for the wedding and wanted to go around. They hired a tour guide cum driver Taposh Ranjan Das. To say the least, they were simply floored by his humbleness and honesty. For three days, he took them around to various places across north India including Taj Mahal. Jeremy wanted to know things about India that back home his friends didn’t know or had not been to, so he requested Taposh to show them some places which not many people know about or visit.

Being the true Indian host and humble guide, Taposh agreed. They had been traveling on a lonely road for about an hour now when the vehicle broke down suddenly. Both Jeremy and Taposh’s experience with vehicles put together didn’t help to start the vehicle. It was almost dusk and they were but curious to get going. Taposh went ahead to look around for help, the couple didn’t want to be left back. Jane realized that if they were to be kidnapped and killed here it will take people weeks to find their bodies. She shuddered at this thought and hurried to catch up with Taposh.

They spotted a building and when they approached near, they realized it was a forsaken railway station. There was no one around, the counters and the benches empty. Dust and cobwebs formed such thick layers that one may drown in it. The railway tracks were rusted, it should have been ages since a train passed on his track. The place was full of stench and the couple wanted to get back to the safety of the vehicle. So did Taposh. When they turn around to leave, the couple let out a shriek and fell down to the floor. Standing behind them was a lady. When did she come? They hadn’t heard footsteps, how did she land up behind them? Taposh was shivering all about. Her dark eyes with an overload of eyeliner, her ear lobes which were adoring hundreds of earrings and the weird bangles she wore made her look terrifying. She was catatonic with pronounced limp and when she spoke it was a coarse voice filled with urgency .

She said “Why have you come here? Is it your death that called you? Don’t you know this place is cursed? The mother and daughter will not let you go from here. You are finished”.

Taposh knelt down before her, his hands folded, still shivering he said ‘O holy mother, please forgive us. We were looking for help and we stumbled here’.

Jeremy didn’t want to be seen as a coward by his future wife. He manage to stand up and asked the old lady ‘Who mother and daughter? What curse?

She changed her gaze to Jeremy. Jane thought this lady was the from the horror show she was watching yesterday night.The old lady replied "Years ago, a mother tried to escape the rituals of Sati system with her 8 year old daughter. The girl was married to a 50 year old drunkard who died soon after marriage. The girl was to be burned alive with her dead groom. The mother wanted to save her daughter, so they escaped and were about to board a train to run away when they where caught and burnt alive, here, in this very railway station. Ever since, they have been haunting this place. No person who passes through this place will lead a happy life ever. The couples won’t have children and others would die of mysterious diseases."

Now Taposh was shuddering and shivering more than ever. He said “Please forgive us, we will go back and never return. Please save us from this trouble oh holy mother, give us a solution

There was absolute silence for about a minute and it seemed like ages, At last the lady spoke “You people should not be here. Get going. Give me money; I will perform prayers to ward off the evil and to keep you safe. Give me the money and get going."

Jane chose to speak at this moment "How do we believe you? What if you just want to cheat us and this story is a lie”. There was silence again and after some thought the lady closed her eyes and spoke slowly “You aren’t married are you? You come from a land from the far west and you are here to get married. Ain’t I right?” the couple nodded, she continued without opening her eyes “You have come here to be betrothed into the sacred marriage and your vehicle broke down and that is why you are here”. Taposh started prostrating before her and said “You are right your holiness. You are right” He then addressed the couple “She has mystic powers and I am sure she can ward off the evil. Please give her the money she asks for”.

The couple was still doubtful. The lady opened her eyes and started walking out of the railway station towards the vehicle. She placed her hand on the vehicle, closed her eyes and asked Taposh to start the vehicle. The very instant Taposh pressed the start button, the vehicle roared to life. The couple was convinced now. Jane ransacked her purse and handed over 300 dollars to the old lady “This is all we have now. Please pray for us and bless us for our future wedded life”.

The catatonic lady  accepted the money and blessed them; the vehicle moved on. After traveling a mile or so, Taposh’s cell beeped. He had a message; it read “Next time onwards, get better customers”.
A smile spread on his lips and he replied back “Ok Mom. See you later tonight. Keep my share.”







The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.




49 OPINIONS:

Srikanth said...

Interesting twist in the end.. Gud luck to you too

Vignesh said...

good write up.. and sad that tourists are robbed this way.All the best :)

Someone Is Special said...

I loved the twist in the end.. You have a lovely blog.. With lots of love i wish u good luck for the contest..

Someone Is Special - My Country - My Love - My Promise

--Someone Is Special--

Amity said...

Ha ha ha...pardon but I could only laugh with the twist in the end! This is very clever of you!

Admirable and interesting way of narrating too!

Poor couple, Taposh' act and the catatonic woman were all convincing!

Next time, peg the loot at higher amount, say a thousand or more $..he hehe!

All the best for BAT 15!:)


Amity

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Srikanth
Thanks buddy
@Vignesh,
Yeah many say my stories are sadistic.
I say They depict the truth :D
But glad that you liked it

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@SIS,
Thank you sooooooooo much.
I m glad you love my blog.
I have been following your blog, you are too good

RiikaInfinityy said...

Unexpected ending...and it is very wonderfully written =P Have to read it again to make sure I didn't miss a thing!=P All the best for BAT15^^~

The Fool said...

Cool one, dude. Enjoyable read.

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Amity,
Yes, next time we ll loot bigger amount :P
You be my mom and ll be Taposh :P

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Riika,
Thanks much and I hope you will read it again and give me feedback. I want to know if it feels a boring story on second read

Cherry Blossom said...

An interesting story with a realistic incident. Such cases do happen in remote areas. Even practical minds do fall prey to superstitious beliefs at an hour of calamity.A select adjective used to describe the sinister looks 'catatonic'. All the best.

Zainab Urooj said...

I laughed like crazy.. he he

Suspense, Thrill, Horror, Humour.. everything in it... that's awesome

It reminds me of an incidence. I'd been to Scary House in a mall.. I was so scared to death that I ended up beating the disguised Ghost with the water bottle... He he.. and then he stopped scaring me and said.. Pls Go madam...

Good Luck for BAT.

PS: My vote for u is fixed.

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@cherryBlossom,
THanks.
Yes, tourists with all active senses give it up to the histrionics of the locals and end up being fooled.
But that's the everywhere, least in India.

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Zainab,
Looks like the ghost had a bad day :P
My friend did that to a ghost here at a shopping Mall in Bangalore.
She hit him with a club that was placed in the scary house.

When she returned few days later to apologise and check on him, he had quit the job :D

I am glad you thoroughly enjoyed my post :)

Lost in thoughts said...

awesome twist at the end...one of the best i read in this series.
All the best

Maddie said...

I knew the guide was a cheat the moment that lday started asking for money. Good one though!

All the best! :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@lost in thoughts,
Thanks dear friend.
It feels great to receive such compliments.
They are all the motivation I need to keep going

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thanks Maddie,
good luck to you too :):)

shruthi said...

Another wonderful story..
Really amazing how you come up with such interesting stories in such short span of time..that too on varied subjects.. Well Done man.. good luck:)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thanks Shruthi.
Thanks much :)

Vaish said...

Oh my! That's a tricky twist at the end! You are really good at spinning tales! Loved the way you write! Good luck for BAT!!

Amity said...

ha haha....sure, i will be your mom and you taposh...gosh, i dont want to look like a catatonic woman.. :P

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@amity,
dont worry.
We will work out a new role for you where you look stunningly beautiful :P

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Vaish,
I am really really glad that you liked it.
Thanks much dear :)

Heavenly Muse said...

blog seems like far away fairy land :-)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Fairy Land?
Why so? Please explain


p.s: Highly appreciate your compliments. it means a lot if one's effort is being liked by the rest.Thanks much :)

Heavenly Muse said...

hmmm....because the idea of enchanting beauty of
fairy land is something that always nourishes our aesthetic sense even though we know that its not in our reach...your blog's colors and its arrangement reminds the setting of fairy tales i used to read.

Megha said...

good one...when i read ur description about that 'bhutia' lady, the zee horror image of the 'bhoots' flashed before my eyes. Nice :)

Well, the ending was the true Indian mentality. When initially I wrote 'To say the least, they were simply floored by his humbleness and honesty' I was like, a tourist and very humble ? how come ? they dont leave even Indian tourist, let alone the foriegners...

Good one. All the best :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@heavenly muse,
That is so sweet. Thanks much.
I am humbled by your kind words and I really feel happy for what I have done with my blog.
Thanks for all the encouragement.

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Megha,
Atlast someone understood how I wanted to portray the catatonic lady.
My effort didnt go for a toss after all.
The humbleness of the guide was abeef to keep ppl from imagining that he is the culprit.
Thanks so much for stopping by and your valuable comments :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brijender Singh said...

Rocking !!
Just as the congenital gloom and foreboding of the evening was settling, you have delivered a PERFECT anti-climax to end the tale!
Like i said, just rocking !!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Brij,
Thanks a ton.
My stories are not as polished as yours :D, I am tyro yet, still learning to write :)

Vee... said...

nice one :D narrated with simple words, and to me that's the best part. and of course as every one said, the twist is awesome!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@VEE,
thank you so much for dropping bye. You are the first one to appreciate the simple language I have used.
Merciiii

Sadiya said...

hehe....dats makes fr a grt light read....cant say much abt the twist cos i was sohooo sure this would happen in the end....but i thot it wud probably b his wife or grlfrn....mom was surprising.
reminds me of all those atithi devo bhava commercials. pretty bad to appreciate sumthin dats low on ethics but for humor's sake- i enjoyed it! balle balle! :-)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Sadiya,
I am perplexed :S
was it a comment or a compliment? ;)
Being the optimist I am I takeit as a compliment :):)

My tales are going stale (anagramic :D)
Let me try something different.
:D

Sadiya,
I request you to read my previous post Holy Dip took his breath away and please provide me with your feedback.

It will help me imporvise:D

Sidra Sayeed said...

hahaha! Enjoyed every word. The length was appropriate, nothing felt like an excess. Definitely enjoyed it! Will be dropping by often enough!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Sidra,
I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
I will be really happy to have you as a regular at my blog.
That will be a simply great :)

Tavish{Sensible Bakwas} said...

ha ha ha mom-son jodi looting tourists haan? good one dude... very well written...

Cheers!
Tavish

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Tavish,
Thanks for dropping by brother :):)

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Hey, u also chose spooky thing like me, as u said! the mid and end was very intersting, only if u cud cut down details in the beginning, it would have been great.

But really nice story, esp the end!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@restles,
yes I agree with you.
quite a few friends have suggessted that my stories begin half way down.
I will try and cut down the flab going further :)

Raksha Raman said...

Blimey! An episode of cozen pulled of so convincingly ensuring a coup! Now that is some story! :) Appropriate and to the point sans all the mumbo jumbo, this one is surely a nice read!

ATB with BAT! :D Cheers!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Raksha,
Thanks for such kind words.
It feels great to get such compliments. Infact thay are a booster to go ahead and improvise upon my work.

:):)

Arpana said...

Good plot with gripping twist and turn. I enjoyed throughly.

Sweta said...

liked the twist at end... very good :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Ah sweta,
Thanks for dropping by.
Your post for this contest is much better than mine

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