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03 November, 2010

Otiose Dreams Part 2

This is second post in the Series Otiose Dreams. To read Otiose Dreams Part1 click here

This event takes place somewhere after the end of 6th book and before the beginning of 7th book of Harry Potter Series.

Dumbledore is dead and Harry says Snape killed him. But, the Ministry of magic wants an official confirmation and hence a bench is commissioned to investigate Dumbledore’s murder. Tenders are received from across the globe and through all ages of human existence. The tenders from 21st Century India are kept aside because of the super corrupt reputation they carry along. After much deliberation the most famous fiction detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes is hired for the job.

Sherlock has been busy time travelling, helping the Time traveller’s wife decipher an Enigma called her husband. During this period he has travelled to forbidden places and got mixed up with issues he had no right to meddle with and a result is simultaneously investigating multiple cases.

He has arrived at Hogwarts along with his faithful friend Dr Watson and they are working at the crime scene.

Holmes: It seemed to me that a careful examination of the room and the lawn might possibly reveal some traces of this mysterious individual. You know my methods, Watson. There was not one of them which I did not apply to the inquiry. And it ended by my discovering traces, but very different ones from those which I had expected.

Watson: I think I have heard it before *retrospecting*

Holmes: Yes. It is from one of my stories. You see Watson, the folks around here know not much about us, we can reuse most of our conversations.

And then there was this sound “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure”.

Watson: Where is this coming from?

*Holmes ignores the echoes as well as Watson’s frivolous thoughts*

Holmes: Come here I see a board here, over this door. Can you help me read it Watson?

Me: I have surely heard this before. But where? Ah just if I had google to help me here.

Holmes: Watson, come here. I have found it, I have done it again. I have resolved the case. * jumping as never before, his exultant dance would have embarrassed Chris tucker from Rush hour movie*

Watson: Excellent!! Who is the murderer?

Holmes: *annoyed and complacent* what murderer? I have found out where Keanu Reeves, the Neo is lost. Quick quick, lets dispatch a message to the Oracle, but make sure it is addressed as “ To the Oracle, third movie In matrix trilogy

Watson: *confused and irritated* what the hell are you talking about? You have gone bonkers dude, get some rest .

Me: You are right Watson, I think he has had an overdose of the dog medicine he was trying the other day.

Holmes: Comrade, listen to me first. During one of travels with the time traveller’s wife, we landed in the oracle’s house in matrix part-3, Neo is locked somewhere. Look at this, it is room of requirements, I can get Neo here and I will take him back to Oracle . Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrray

Watson: That’s great. We can come back here often to find answers to most of our questions *winks*

The echo is heard again “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure”. This time a bit louder

Watson: I am sure I know this from the past, I think I read it in one of the books.

Me: concentrate hard, where have u read it. Come on Muddassir, you know have read this before. But Where?

The echo grows louder and sharper “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure”.

Out of nowhere appear the trolls, so do the spiders. Watson and Sherlock standing back to back, spiders surrounding them.

Me: Wait! That is supposed to be Harry and Ron with Spiders, isn’t it? Whatever, but why are my hands tied to the flag posts? And who is so pathetically singing ‘Haath mujhe dedeThakur’? * I look around* Is it really Gabbar Singh? 20 feet tall? Since when, does Gabbar have four heads??Woah, hang on!! why is he holding those huge monstrous barbarian axes over my shoulders? Is he going to chop off my shoulders? Does he think I am the Thakur? I don’t even have a single strand of white hair forget a streak of white hair. Mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy!!!! save me!

All three of us are sweating. We may be dead any moment now. This is not the death I wanted, not so soon. And then, a loud voice announces

“Welcome to Joker’s maze, this is Riddler speaking. Solve these riddles and save your head, Shy away and you shall be dead. Now, now, tell me how, you will make the ghosts fall in love?”

Me: Now that is a difficult one. Er, make them watch ShahRukh- Kajol Movies?

Holmes: Apply one can of Axe deodorant on the male Ghost, specifically, the chocolate flavor.

Me: What? The ‘AXE-EFFECT’ ? It doesn’t work with humans, you think it will work with ghosts? Believe me, my friend Deepak tried it. Instead of being wooed he was shooed away. In fact he is planning to sue the company now.

Riddler: Wonderful, Wonderful.To you I raise a toast, now tell me, tell me; how will you kill a ghost??

Me: That is very easy. 1. Contract the Ghost Rider to kill them 2. Make them watch Chandni Chowk to China and RGV Ki Aag    3. Ask them to work with Suresh Kalmadi to organize the next Olympics in India. You see, the options go on and on.

The Riddler begins to laugh sonorously. Multiple things happen the next instant.

A lion jumps in front of me and The four headed monstrous and lamenting Gabbar raises his 200 pound axes, the spiders pounce on Holmes and Watson.I take a step back to stay away from the lion and fall in a pit.

A loud shrieking voice says“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure”.

I hit the ground ,hurt my head and back. I wake up startled. I am breathing heavily and sweating profusely. I take a minute or two to return back to senses and understand what is going on.

That is when I realize that I fell down my cot, hit the floor, hurt myself and it was my alarm shrieking in Dumbledore’s voice “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure”. I push a hand forward and shut the alarm. Sit back and take a heavy deep and long breath.

Phew!!! Me and my dreams.

This post has been written for Blogeshwar 5.0 and Anubhooti  


sarah said...

OMG! this was soo many things combined in one...but a great package, i liked it :)
PS: i believe now that u burnt d midnite oil for this..good luck 4 d contest!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thanks much Sarah.
I suggest you read Otiose dreams part one as well.

I am really really glad that you liked it :):)

Heavenly Muse said...

nice tricks for killing a ghost

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Hey HeavenlyMuse,
Thanks for dropping by :)
I hope the post was humorous.
That was the theme for the contest

RaNiiiiii said...

wow.. is this ur real dream Muddassir.. if yes than my god your brain is the ultimate thing for you.. nicely written!

shruthi said...

Hilarious :):)...too good..

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

I really hope you liked the post.
As i said it is experimental writing writing. Just trying to improvise upon my writing abilities :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

You really think it is Hilarious??
That is exactly wat I was trying to write. A humoruous article :D

Sadiya Merchant said...

hiee! im sooo glad u made a sequel of it....u kno wen i saw it on the list on posts, i had d widest smile on my face! :-)))
neway gettin on, d concept was awesome in both parts...though i thot d humor quotient in the previous one was in more spontaneous...all the same...grt effort!
hope u winnn! keep it up! :-)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

:D :D :D
I was waiting to see how you'd react when you see this post.
I too hope that I win :D

Infact I know realized how difficult it is to write/make sequels

I had to put in a lot of effort to make it similar and at the same time very dissimilar to the first post


Swetha said...

Cool... I'm a fan of both HP and Holmes but I don't see your piece (the previous one too) as mockery. Well i'm no fan of RGV or Suresh Kalmadi so i found it quite funny .. Nice one!.
Take care,

Swetha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Md. Muddassir Shah said...

It has been really long since you commented on my blog.
Glad to have you back.
Thanks for dropping by.
I am happy that you read both the posts :)

sayedkhadri said...

This is amazing post bro, Killing the Ghost, Finding the Neo and Time-Travelers Wife parts are just amazing :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

I am really really glad that you connected with the story and liked it.

Thanks much brother :D

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OP said...

good one !!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thanks OP.
I suggest you read Otiose Dreams part-1 also

vivek said...

well well well.. the lazy me has never ever read sherlock holmes n doesnt even dream to read harry potter series.. with me its mostly like i catch on dream sequences very neatly n quick but this one was quite good.. a good mix of humor, headache and heady facts.. i quite like reading ur posts man.. all the best for blogeshwar.. u surely give a tough fight.. and everytime..

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

I am flattered :)
Your words mean a lot more than winning the contest.

DO keep visiting my blog :)

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