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12 July, 2010

OTIOSE dreams

This post has been selected as a 'Spicy Saturday Picks' by BlogAdda

6th June 2010, Sunday 06:03 A.M

I don’t know how I landed here. But I have been here for sometime now.I have gained great experiences, seen great struggles. David has fallen and I have fought Goliath with the help of Lord Voldemort. In return, he wanted me to help him find Shaktimaan. He was feeling very insecure in London, so he wanted to kill, defeat and take Tamraj Kilvish’s place. I Bargained for an autograph from Harry potter ( I actually wanted Emma Watson to sign. But :( ,some other day, Harry for now). He agrees and he has invited me to his father’s grave in part four of the HARRY POTTER series. Voldemort has regained his body and he is about to duel with Harry.

Me: Hey Voldy *poking my finger at his back, he feels tickled*
Voldy: Stop Tickling, Don’t you see I have to duel with Harry?
Me: Before you duel, I want his autograph. Remember the deal *eye winks*
Voldy: Hey boyo, you will have to wait till I have punished him and cursed him. I will Use Crucio to inflict pain and then kill him later. In between, when I take a break, you can get his autograph *smug look on the face*
Me: No, no no no. Not done. I want his autograph right now. He will escape with the dead body of Cedric and you will make a fool of yourself as always.
Voldy: *naturally irritated* what are you? A male Oracle or something?
Me: Believe me Voldy. You don’t want to do this. Don’t duel, just kill him if you want to. If he escapes now he will kill you bit by bit . I have read the books. He will kill your horocruxes and you in part 7. What a shame.
Voldy: * totally furious* Can someone shut this lad in one of the graves? *He gives a villainous smile*
Wait.*The smile grows into a big grin*. I think I will need to practice Avada Kedavra before I use it on Harry. Don’t I?

He raises his wand. I am shocked. Unable to move, I don’t know what to do now. He then utters the most dreaded curse. I close my eyes. So this is how it ends. All the dreams and passions gone for a toss.

I remember reading a thread on the bulletin board that said “If you get to know that the next moment you are going to die. What will you do?”
I was cursing myself. Damn it! Why didn’t you read the whole thread? You would have had some idea at least as to how to handle this situation. Then I remember. There was another mail from Deepak. He always plays these stupid situational games of what- you-do-when. A particular mail read “If you are given a chance to do things before you die what will that be?”

I tried to remind myself of what I had replied .

1. Go curse my manager using choicest of swear words
2. Tell that beautiful receptionist that I was looking for the HSBC drop box actually and not trying to flirt with her.
3. Say bye to my mother, sister, brother and dad.
4. To advice my neighbor aunty not to cry when hero divorces heroine in Pavitra Rishta. (What? You don’t know Pavitra Rishta? Zee TV? Do you have a mom/sis/galfrnd? Haven’t they mentioned it to you? No? Damn it, you are one lucky guy.For gals, I am sure you know this TV serial better than me)
5. Finish reading the book ‘ The God of small things’ (I have been reading it for 7 years now)
6. Watch the last episode of Heroes season-3.
7. Find out who was Phoebe’s mystery stalker in F.R.I.E.N.D.S (don’t remember which season).
And went on the list.

Phew!! None of the above will be possible now. The curse will hit me any second and my body will be air borne for few seconds and lay dud on the floor, just like Albus Dumbledore’s. I was feeling light, I was air borne indeed, but someone was holding me and then I heard it.

To infinity and beyond”.

Buzz light year?? (Apply breaks -zzzzzzzzzzzzsssssssssssscccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhh).
What was he doing in Harry’s world?
(And then it occurred to me)
Voldy must be Zurg’s friend and Buzz is trying to trace Zurg through Voldy.Yeah all bad men are connected like all the underworld people and villains in Bollywood.They must be conducting these meetings like in movies. Status calls probably??
Ahhhhhhhh! Why can’t I keep work out of my life when I am not working?


So I am airborne with Buzz and screaming hoorraaaays when suddenly the erratic Baloo of Talespin crashes his Sea duck into Buzz and I fall down and down and down into labyrinths of darkness.

I feel a tap on my shoulder, open my eyes and look back.A tired and irritated looking giant standing behind me in the queue says:
Aapka number aagaaya, ticket lijiye aur jaake train mein sojaaiye”.
(Translation: Dude, get moving, get your ticket and doze off on your seat in the train)

Ahhhhhhhh. I hate these queues for train tickets in Bangalore Railway station.


CoolNukeAshok said...

Otiose.. i googled the word and i must say this ain't otiose post. Though i don read or see harry potter or understand any term ( Phew!! u must be thinking.. why the hell are you alive.. WTF? and all..)i enjoyed this peiece. Very nice and maybe that's similar to what we all go through .

A new style of writing and mixing all the garbage inputs to a meaningful output( Cant get work out of my head..He He He)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thanks Ashok,
I tried to write something different.
Glad that you liked it.
By the way I have written a story, proper fiction. I will mail it you need your feedback to improvise upon it

Nagarjun said...

Like the new look and these new posts have a very fresh flavour..

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

THanks Nagarjun :)
How are you doing?

Ayesha Farheen said...

Hey Bro,
Wonderful write.
I totally loved it :)
keep writing such humor

shruthi said...

:):) Refreshingly new style of writing garnished with fine humour..Loved it:) Man, you are good at any genre of writing..
Keep it up

JAY said...

Lage Raho Munna Bhai :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thank sister dear

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thanks. You, archana, mom sis and quite few others have been saying that I write sad sad stuff. So wanted to try something different.
I Think I will try to write humorous stuff more often now :)
Thanks again.

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thanks for stopping by. Please do read harry potter series, they are simply awesome books

Sandhya said...

nice post buddy!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Hey Sandhya,

Glad that you liked it :)

Kashi said...

Hary Putter ke sambandhit jitna likha hai...Kuch samajh mein nahi aaya...Kyu ki unki koi bhi kitaab abhi tak nahi padhi hai...

Baaki Sab Zabardast!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Aaphari putter sambandhit pustak padhte kyo nahin :)

Kashi said...

Mere zindagi mein "Muddassir" naam ka Hary Putter hai...Isliye kisi aur ke baare mein padne ki jarurat nahi hai...:)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

ha ha ha.
Abe seriously, read it, its good; age no bar :

Sadiya Merchant said...

this, in my opinion is the fevrestestttt post ive read frm ur end so far....also wanted to comment ages ago...but kept slippin my mind....
wat i liked most is d flow....completely effortless and smooth as honey :-)
if this u say takes least troubl to write, den me thinks u really really shud put minimal effort in as many posts as possibl....i, fr one wud totally appreciate it!
also liked the creativity and d style...really appealed to me.....all in all....perfect 10 on 10 :-)))
n as u kno i hav already done my bit at promotin it.

Anonymous said...

yes i have been reading up on stuff like this for a few weeks seems alot of people are writing articles about this subject matter.keep up the great work.. said...

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