My Friends on Blogosphere

13 February, 2011

Falling in love is not a one time affair

This post has been published as a part of THE GREAT DEBATERS No 1; the first edition of the Bloggers Debate; If you like this post then FAVE it  here and read other entries as well. The Great Debaters at Blogjunta

Well, I am not the right person to write on this topic. Because I do not believe in the pre-marriage romance the much celebrated love of the youth and all that non-sense. But then the topic asks us to support or oppose the stand that love is a one time affair. I will try and write something meaningful. But be warned. I am very pathetic with this stuff. If you get bored some where, then I suggest you stop reading.

Mr. Jayanth, the author of the kick off post writes:
"To love someone means to hold your partner at a special place and according the highest concern and regards. The passion for the partner never reduces and the feeling is eternal. The special one is placed above self and their position is irreplaceable"

Very true. But then it is a circumstantial statement, not true in all cases. Love and its depth have been time and again redefined depending upon the people and age. For example in the current period, we have the college kids in the age group of 15-22, the young employees 22-28, the married youth 28-34, the middle age 34-45 and the old 46 and above. 

In the current day scenario every age group has its own definition of love. In the first two age groups, especially love is more about physical relationship, short term flirtations, break-up and move on to a new crush. Please underline the point that they are in majority. For such a group, do you think the point highlighted in blue stands true. 

No I don't think. For some, in the age groups of married youth, middle age and the old, I firmly believe that the highlighted point stands true for some.  There are still people who are true lovers and for them the first love would mean everything in heart and mind that cannot be dethroned. The nurture their feeling for the first love through out the life. But the Gen-X, cunning mean and with their shoe lace morality wouldnt stand the tests of time, give in to the stress, turn to wrong means and then end up getting a new person to replace the X. Next some Y will replace the X so on and so forth.

So My thoughts are that
"For a majority in the current day, Love is not a once in life time affair"


Sadiya Merchant said...

but i also think urs is a very very 'safe' kinda point of view....wud have liked sumthin bolder dat came across a tad forecefully i think.
gud luck all d same! :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

I am glad yours is the first comment.

But that is my point of view :)

Aren't you participating in the debate?

Thanks for dropping by.

Nahno McLein said...

Can't say I agree in everything.
Of course, I fall under the young college group, but then again, I don't believe in the solely physical attraction. Real love, which I experiences before, was much deeper and took a long time to develop.

I don't think, though, that there is only one love out there. Love is defined by feeling, whichever way they come to appear.

Thank you for following and commenting. Your blog really is interesting. I'm looking forward to have more discussions.
Nahno ∗ McLein

Md. Muddassir Shah said...


yeah i was talking about majority and not about everyone. and yes everyone has his/her own opinion about this.

subtlescribbler said...

can i say i was a lil disappointed? I mean u put across a bold point and then i donno y u took it off urself by playing a diplomatic role. debate r not meant to be diplomatic :)
Another point is- u said u don't believe in pre-marriage love', then how come r u backing up d fact that 'love for u is not an ever-lasting affair' ? sounds contradictory to me.
I hope u don't get me wrong..but being an audience i didnt feel convinced, inspite of having much similar thoughts like urs from the start till d end :(
the good thing was whatever u expressed was clear easy to grasp, as in the clarity of thoughts..which i liked!
hope i didnt offend u!


vineet said...

thoughtful bt watz next, i mean wot to be done, i thnk dats the course of event thats goin on..shud stop bt wont...or probably shud go..learnin lessons u see

Md. Muddassir Shah said...


First, you didnt offend me even a bit.
Second, I was stating my thoughts, I dunno why I sound diplomatic in almost all debates I participate :(

:D Well I dont in love - tats right. But then I was talking of what is happening these days. Majority of population are youngsters and what I see in them (of course me not counted in) is that love is not an ever lasting affair and that is what I have tried to potray.

I will try to pick and impress both u and Sadiya, probably incoming debates /posts/

I will continue with my RTI series of posts.

JAY said...

One may walk the beach holding hands with 100 different people for the need to be seen hep/cool. But, falling in love is a different experience altogether.

Also, IMHO, the feeling of love transcends the scenarios of today, yesterday or even tomorrow.

Pratibha The Talent said...

But the Gen-X, cunning mean and with their shoe lace morality wouldnt stand the tests of time, give in to the stress, turn to wrong means and then end up getting a new person to replace the X. Next some Y will replace the X so on and so forth....thats not love because
“True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away.”

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Oh yeah, I should have written :(
I missed it in a hurry. Guess it should be fine if I edit my post now

Md. Muddassir Shah said...


Welcome back to my blog. It has been long time now.
Well, thanks for bringing up this point about true love.

All I am trying to say is there is no more true love (for majority of the people atleast) and thus no value for relationships :)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...


I agree feeling of love transcends across ages, but the number of people afflicted by True Love are fast decreasing , almost reaching extinction :)

JAY said...

I am not sure if you have any data to back up that statement. Even if you did, that's what makes the whole experience all the more special and worthwhile.

Peace !

Someone is Special said...

Nice points Md, may be from your point of view, it may be correct... but PS: I strongly feel that 'Falling in love is one-time feeling'..

Happy Valentine's Day

Someone is Special

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Well well! First u cannot generalize according to age. But if u go by majority, it may still be true.

The meaning of love changes as we mature.

Lastly, would have apprecaited if u gave your view point on it.... u said for this generation love cannot be for one time only, so what do u think about it? as u said, no love before marriage that ur reply?



Prateek said...

Everyone has their own opinions regardless of who they are. You too have yours which I liked. But that doesn't means that I Agree

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

@Prateek :):)
Lets agree to disagree.

Thanks for dropping by. I realize now that I should written more and expressed more clearly

Ana_treek said...

Don't underestimate the youth, every generation has its pluses and minuses!

Nethra said...

Sometimes, it happens that I am not able to recognize my feelings and tag it as love. So love is love no matter who you are. It's just that you might misinterpret it and later realize your mistake. Still, the definition of the love is same for everyone and I haven't discovered it yet.

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Thanks for dropping by .

Yes I know that. I am not underestimating, just stating my observations, For all we know it many not be the truth. But it is wat I have observed.

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Very well said and very true :)

P-Kay said...

Good point of view sir and it is more close to the reality :) Yes it todays world its not once in a life time affair.

Someone is Special said...

Md, did I hurt you with my points? I couldn't see any reply... PS: My personal opinion is 'Falling in Love is once a lifetime feeling'..

Someone is Special

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Hey SIS,
Sorry was a bit occupied with work.
Thats it.
You didnt hurt me brother :)

Someone is Special said...


Someone is Special

sayedkhadri said...

Falling in love definitely not once in a life time affair :)

Raksha Bhat said...

Here after a long time.I am not very convinced with this post though.For or against,to each his own.You could have made this writing better instead of choosing to place the topic on the fence.I believe that the essence of a good debate is making it more debatable by putting across your strong points rather than pointing the weaker ones on the other side.Nevertheless a fair attempt:)

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Hey Raksha,

THnaks for dropping by.
I realize that I have not made my stand clear.
Probably next debate, I ll do better Inshaallah.

You have put up a wonderful post

Rajendra raikwar said...

i agree with you.. said...

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