My Friends on Blogosphere

29 June, 2010

Recession Blues

The below text is purely a work of my imagination, any reference to any person living or dead is puerly co-incidential


I had drafted this some time in may last year when the IT industry was gung ho about recession and job losses. I felt its worthwhile posting here if i could help a few laugh and few others smile about it :)
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Read from the bottom of the mail chain

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-----Original Message-----

From: postmaster@localhost [mailto:postmaster@localhost]

Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 12:19 PM

To: Ashrafi,Gulam M

Subject: Delivery Final Failure Notice



Can not deliver the message you sent. Will not retry.

Sender: < Ashrafi_gulam@japkakakapa.com>


The following addresses had delivery problems

< mohdjaved.siddiqui@blalba.com> Reply from njpmail1.blabla.com[204.179.188.154]:


550 The mail ID no longer exists

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From: Ashrafi, Gulam M

Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 10:34 AM

To: Mohammed Yusuf; Mahammed Sharif; fareed; MdMuddassir_Shah; mohdjaved.siddiqui ; Azghar Pasha

Cc: javed.sjce; Mohammed_Hussain; shaffi.mohammed@gmail.com; yuppie.jaff

Subject: RE: Re:



Tats cool, when is the treat?

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From: mohdjaved.siddiqui

Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 10:30 AM

To: Mahammed Sharif; Ashrafi, Gulam M; fareed; MdMuddassir_Shah; mohdjaved.siddiqui; Azghar Pasha

Cc: javed.sjce; Mohammed Yusuf; ; Mohammed_Hussain; shaffi.mohammed; yuppie.jaff

Subject: RE: Re:



Ah No ways.

I got the employee of the month award last week.

They wont fire me


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From: Mahammed Sharif

Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 10:19 AM

To: Ashrafi, Gulam M; fareed; MdMuddassir_Shah; mohdjaved.siddiqui; Azghar Pasha

Cc: javed.sjce; Mohammed Yusuf; Mohammed_Hussain; shaffi.mohammed; yuppie.jaff

Subject: RE: Re:



Dude,

Take care .

Hope it doesn’t affect you.

________________________________________
From: mohdjaved.siddiqui

Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:57 AM

To: Mahammed Sharif; Ashrafi, Gulam M; fareed; MdMuddassir_Shah; mohdjaved.siddiqui; Azghar Pasha

Cc: javed.sjce; Mohammed Yusuf; ; Mohammed_Hussain; shaffi.mohammed; yuppie.jaff

Subject: RE: Re:



Doing great bro, as always

Plus recession, they fired some 100 folks yesterday

There are rumors that they will fire more today.



________________________________________
From: fareed[mailto:fareed.h@blablabla.com]

Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 8:07 AM

To: MdMuddassir_Shah; Ashrafi, Gulam M; mohdjaved.; Mahammed Sharif; Azghar Pasha

Cc: javed.sjce Mohammed Yusuf; Mohammed_Hussain; shaffi.mohammed; yuppie.jaff

Subject: Re: Re:



Hello All,

@javed,

How are you? Hows work


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16 June, 2010

Motives and Actions ...A short story


He entered the village limping; his entire weight supported by a wooden staff that appeared to be in a shape bettered by his own. The sun was retiring for the day and so were the peasants. Young kids returning from school and the children dirtied from the farm work were running around carefree. The police constable along with some young men was trying to force the children back to their home lest the kidnapper make an appearance and abduct the children. The kidnapper had terrorized the village for a few months now, holding children for ransom until defrayment.  No one had ever seen him and that made the matters worse. The police constable was under a lot of pressure to catch the kidnapper and he wanted to prove his worth.

The constable had this hunch. Anyday now the kidnapper will make his move and the constable will catch him. The prize for the catch was more than the pride at stake. The reward money to bring in the Kidnapper was handsome plus a photo published in the local newspaper will make him the hero and help him gain the interest of his lady love, the daughter of the local doctor.

He limped through the street struggling ; trying to find a tree to rest under and some water to drink. He had packed some food at his previous stop and now he was looking for a place to dine and doze. What better than a huge tree for a shade. And probably, if he was lucky he could rest at a temple or a kind family may let him rest in their garden. The possibilities were infinite. Being the vagabond he was, he knew better than to expect.

His ragged panhandler appearance with red cheeks, a twisted lip and the look of the liquor in his eyes made eyes turn to him and frown, some with disgust and some out of fear.He passed many kids playing and he atlast reached the centre of the village. He saw a large Banyan tree at the centre of a village. He paused out of breath, trying to take in the view of the village. He saw a temple at a far end and some houses nearby. The lights slowly switching on as it grew darker.

To his far left he saw a lonely kid playing with his toy train. He spotted some movement on the ground and quickly moved towards the kid. As he reached the kid he raised his staff as if to hit the kid. Seeing the approaching man, the kid let out a scream. All heads turned in his direction. He realized that in his attempt to scare off the snake he had scared the kid instead.

The police constable couldn ‘t believe his luck. His lady love and few other young lasses who were just passing by stopped to turn back and have a look. He was sure they had the kidnapper and this was his moment of glory. The constable ran towards the kid and so did the other men – young and old alike. They all started beating him; his pleas of mercy fell on deaf ears. He screamed that he just was trying to save the kid as he had spotted a snake behind the kid, near the cobbler’s house. The villagers were angered by the lies of kidnapper when he was caught red handed. They all started beating him harder. Everyone wanted a revenge for the atrocities committed and the trouble caused to the village.Their anger and frustration had the better of their senses, they beat him to death.

They all feasted that night; that they were atlast free. Their kids need not be afraid of playing out in the dark, the parents need not worry about the safety of the children. It was as if they had their greatest victory of their life and not to mention, the constable was their hero. He ran the fastest he could run and caught hold of the kidnapper before he could escape. He beamed with pride and he was on cloud number nine. Tired from the day’s work and the aftermath event and the celebrations, they all went to sleep. Sound, peaceful and deep.
The next morning, the cobbler and his family were found dead in his house. The doctor diagnosed that the kid and the wife were bitten by a snake and were spot dead. The constable established that the cobbler had struggled for sometime to fight the snake or to call for help but to no avail. His body was found at the doorstep while his wife and kid were found in the bed, in the position they had slept.



The beggar who entered the city; who was beaten to death, was not lying after all.


11 June, 2010

I didn't lose the keys


I have developed this unique ability to lose/misplace the keys everytime I am honored with the onus of handling the keys. 

Whenever, wherever keys go missing, people turn to me with an awful irritated look, a tacit question in their eyes “Where the hell have you placed the keys now? Sad, but true; I have become synonymous with the loss of keys.

Every time I visit my native, I turn the house upside down, everyone running around, ransacking every nook and corner for the Scooty pep, Bajaj boxer or some other keys. While at hostel I misplaced the room keys; at home, I misplace the cupboard keys. While visiting one of the umpteen friend’s brother/sister/cousin marriages, I have misplaced the room keys meant for the bride and bridegroom on the night of their marriage. During trips and outings, I have lost the hotel room keys and in college, I lost the auditorium and seminar hall keys.

Phew!!  The scroll of honor grows bigger by day.

It is as if the memory of keys evades me. I am sure my brain has developed bad sectors in the memory area responsible for holding the instructions about keys.

But, for a change, I didn’t misplace the keys last week. They were safely placed in my hip pocket after I locked the door. I return from mosque after prayers and to my utter dismay the door doesn’t open. It was around 9 P.M and my brother with his Goliath like body overshadowed me flaring with a question in his eyes “Where are THE KEYS?” I handed him the keys and grinned from ear to ear. The  evidence was so strong that I didn’t even need to plead NOT GUILTY. All he could do was withdraw from me. Still angry, he smashed his shoulder into the door aka bollywood style. “This is not a filmi door” I managed to mutter under breath. He probably realized it and thanks to some good neighbors, we located a key maker and entered the house through the safety door.

The real culprit was the auto locking mechanism. It was jammed, not sure how. My Brother was cursing the system and I was silently thanking it for saving me from another disgraceful embarrassment.



05 June, 2010

Let's change this environment day




I was reading through my old Calvin and Hobbes collection when this particular strip held my attention. I read through it again and it hit like a punch in my face.
One, it speaks against all the rude and careless attitude of humans towards the nature and second, it speaks for the entire non-human earth community through Hobbes, a Tiger and his species is on the verge of being eliminated from the face of earth (and directly or indirectly Humans are responsible for it).

What hurts more is the tiger speaking as a wounded warrior who fought valiantly for a cause and who is about to give up his life and existence for it. The last words of the icon and idol warrior, which will linger around always and would hit us deep somewhere in our conscience as long as we exist and even when we are about to perish.

On this environment day, let’s take an oath to change our ways, let’s take some corrective action before it is too late.
Let’s prove Hobbes wrong and add another graphic to this comic strip where Calvin gives a befitting reply to the accusation of Hobbes.

Let us go Green!!